J. Hudson Taylor

Today I took some time to flip through a few photo albums of my two trips to East Asia. Even though some of the names of my Chinese friends have escaped me, just the glimpse of their faces has opened the flood gates to emotions that have been dormant for a long time. As I think back to all the sites I saw and all the crazy things our team did, I'm thankful to have been part of everything that took place during those trips.

I remember back when I found out that a dear family friend of mine had just been diagnosed with cancer and I was explaining the situation with one of my friends, Jo. After a few brief moments of silence, I remember looking up through teary eyes and seeing that Jo was also crying. But for a different reason. She then asked me, "Do you believe that God can heal cancer?" Whoa! To think that God had allowed me to share more about my faith because of this family tragedy completely blew my mind.

I miss the wonderful man that sat at the front desk of our dorm and the lady that I would buy watermelon from every couple of days. Then I came upon a few pictures of the children that we sang songs with at a coffee shop down the street and one of a close friend of our team who's joyful smile could always light up a room. Boy do I miss him! And then I remember how I felt after I left the Buddhist temple that afternoon - how my heart broke for the futility of it all.

Then I picked up Hudson Taylor's biography. I thought it would be fitting to read since he had such a huge impact in touching China for God. He spent many years preparing to go by learning to endure hardships, live cheaply and trust God for everything. In the first 30 pages of this book, I confirmed what my next task is in my journey toward overseas missions - pray earnestly and trust whole-heartedly. This quote jumped out at me as I was reading:

"Dear God, please give me some work to do for you, as an outlet for my love and gratitude." J. Hudson Taylor. (Taken from J. Hudson Taylor: A Man in Christ, Roger Steer. OMF Literature, 1990.)

So today I pray his simple prayer trusting that God will be faithful in guiding me on the path He has set out before me. And since Hudson prepared for many years, if God keeps me here for longer than I would like or foresee, I pray that I would be just as willing to stay.

Scripture quoting little girl

This is the cutest little girl I have ever seen! I can't wait to teach my children scripture.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=9e7c4b40cf5a13cea6ca

Unspoken questions

Airports, hotels, and rental cars. In most minds, using all three of these (for free) in any given city would be an ideal situation. But I find that life on the road has a different twist. Although I love many of the cities that I travel to for work, my mind tends to disconnect from reality even though that is my reality. (Does that even make sense?) Here are a few thing that I think about every trip I take: ("Think" is a key word here because usually I'm alone so no one hears these thoughts - well, except you now.)

• Hmmm, is it just me or is everyone in this airport suddenly feeling the urge to stop directly in front of me for no good reason?
• Oh no, please don't let that be that guy that will occupy the seat beside me. Yes, it's not! Shoot, not that guy either!
• Please let there be something good on TV tonight to pass the time.
• Okay, GPS, find me something good for dinner. Something that won't be too far away or less than $20. Something that has a bar so I don't feel like a dork sitting by myself but that will take up enough of my evening since nothing is on TV.
• Is that guy talking to me? Grrr! I hate those ear pieces. That guy almost fooled me into thinking that someone was actually talking to me!
• Maybe if I look like I'm reading/sleeping this lady next to me won't try to witness to me.
• I really hope that I get a cool car - something with a sunroof would be nice. A Saturn is all you have left?
• Is it too dangerous of an opportunity to know that I can be anyone or anything that I want to be when I'm on the road? Would anyone know otherwise? (By the way, the answer is yes to both questions but that's for another blog.)
• Should I have a Chicago Dog while I'm in O'hare? And if so, does that really count toward having a Chicago Dog in Chicago? Am I techniqully in Chicago or just some portal?

Just got home from my last trip to Boston for work. Overall it was a pretty great trip. I got to eat dinner at the Union Oyster House, which is the oldest restaurant in America that is still open for business. Great atmosphere and terrific clam chowder! I also drove around the North End (my favorite district in downtown Boston) and past Fenway Park during a Red Sox game. Also, on my flight home from Boston to Chicago, I sat next to a gentlemen that asked if I wanted to switch iPods. I guess this happens quite often in the iPod world but it hasn't ever happened to me and I thoroughly enjoyed it! You can definitely learn a lot about a person based on what kind of music they have. And his playlists reminded me of a few artists/songs that I have been meaning to download but keep forgetting about. All in all, it was a short but sweet time in my favorite city. Hopefully, it won't be too long before I can go back.

Lyrics

As long as I can remember, music has moved me. When I was in junior high (the very impressionable age), I could not wait for 10:00 pm so that I could tune my radio to KKRD 107.3 and listen to the Top 10 voted songs of the night. I was ever obsessed enough to call in and actually vote. But to have all of my favorite songs played in a 60 minute period was a once-in-a-lifetime moment (or maybe a 5-times-a-week moment). Even during those times, it was all I could do to keep from jumping around my room "trying" to dance. Especially since I was hoping that I would be able to practice enough in order to avoid making a fool of myself at next years Homecoming, and try to memorize all the words so that I could sing along at the top of my lungs.

During these late night dance parties was when I began perfecting the talent of listening to a song only once and having at least the chorus completely memorized. (By the way, this drives a lot of my friends crazy! And actually, it kind of bothers me too when I'm trying to surf the radio but I keep getting stuck on songs I know and don't really like. Sorry, I'll get back to the point.) But when I come upon a set of lyrics that send chills down my back, that I can't sing loud enough to, or that keep me from singing all together, my hand starts fumbling for the pen and paper in hopes of recapturing a moment that deserves to be held onto forever.

I had one of those today. Here is what I heard and what I hope will resound in my head for many days to come:

Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle (emphasis added by myself)


To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of it's offering I do drink
Of it's work I do sing
On it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love and God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees and I am
Lost for words so lost in love I'm
Sweetly broken wholly surrendered.

What a priceless gift undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucified
You've called me out of death
You've called me into life
When I was under Your wrath
Through the cross I'm reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous is Your redeeming love
How great is Your faithfulness.

In eternity, I will be found with my arms stretched out wide, my head tilted upward toward my Savior's beautiful face and crying out these words at the stop of my lungs. (I could DEFINITELY sing this song for eternity!)

To whom I cling

The musty yet sweet fragrance of rain is so calming after a long day of work. Thank you for filling my world with refreshment for three evenings in a row. Makes me want to sit in our hammock all night long.



My camera doesn't do your beautiful sunsets justice. Even though it's dangerous, I can't keep my eyes off your masterpieces when I'm driving. Thank you for allowing me to stand in awe of your splendor so frequently. Please guard me from apathy toward your creation.

Wow! And I think I know what's going on in the world. Thank you for being trustworthy when man isn't. As fearful as I am in trusting you, I can rest assured that You always have my best in mind. Nothing can hide itself from you - "Therefore, do not fear them. There is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be know." (NKJV, Matt. 10:26)

Where my soul connects: Home

There have been many churches I have called home in my life. Some have aquired that reference due to time spent in the pews and others because of the community I benefited from. But none the less, each has made its mark on my life in both encouraging and challenging ways. There have been worship leaders that have stirred in me a healthy reverence of God through use of sound and since I lean more toward the artistic side of life, I'm initially compelled to seek this first. There have been teachers that have caused me to pause, try to rub feeling back into my tired writing hand and be humbled by the knowledge of the Bible I lack. These are the ones that keep me wake in church, hungry for His Word and yet unsatisfied by my own times studying. There have also been buildings in which I have joined many friends on Sunday mornings to recap events of the week, cry tears over current struggles, and retreat back to my daily life knowing that I am loved and cared for. But what I haven't found much of is the blending of all three.

Over a cup of Starbucks, I discussed this idea with a friend of mine. She talked a little bit about what she has learned about deciding on a church to attend and I've begun to understand why some churches have their places in my life and some do not. Outside of doctrinal stances, a church can move you intellectually, emotional, and even physically at certain seasons in life. And just as seasons come and go, so do my home churches. Not that the past churches didn't have good enough worship or the pastor wasn't a world renown speaker but that they had their place in my journey and now that is somewhere else. So why is it that I find myself looking at other churches as "not as good as mine" when it's really based on finding a home? Shame on me.

But after much searching over the past year, I have found the one I currently call home. It's not whether or not I will be at church on Sunday but which service I will go to. God has used each service to touch me in a special way - worship, teaching, and community combined. I've found the Lord to be more real to me than ever before because of the time I've spent there. My heart is overflowing! I've been able to meet with God in the presence of many other believers today. What a blessing God has given us when He gave us church!

Hit in the face

It's amazing to me how everything about life seems to coordinate. There can be a million things going on at one time and yet they all have a purpose that is brought to life only when they are all present. And when you least expect everything to make sense, you are hit in the face with something that finally opens your eyes.

This happened to me today when I was reading Matthew 6:19-21 on a "whim." In the past week, my work life has changed drastically due to some downsizing. Because of this, parts of my job description changed which left me very frustrated at the inability to reap the seeds that I have sowun. (As a sales rep, this can be quite a frustrating thing - motivation is brought on by reward, you know.) But then I read this, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." My motivation was in rewards such as respect at work, words from man, and most of all, money. Instead, I should have been glad that tools for helping people in their walk were distributed all over, that I was able to make dear friends all across the US, and that I have been part of a great team of people learning to work together better.

Glad this hit in the face came now and not later. But I'm still trying to recover from it all.