7.21.2008

Part 2

"So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God...."

Since I finished my last dose of Prednisone, I haven't seen much improvement in my vision. There is still a cloudiness that blocks everything in my direct line of sight but the doctor was still hopeful given that I had seen such an improvement during those first 2 weeks. On Friday morning, I noticed that the vision was getting worse again -- I was seeing the same cloudiness in the top part of my vision as well as feeling a sharp pain when I looked up, down or to the sides. So this morning I went in to see the ophthalmologist and after consulting with the neurologist that I'm seeing next week, they decided to give me three more doses of Solu-Medrol and a tapering dosage of Prednisone for 6 days following. I just got home from my first of three treatments -- there were some pretty good cooking shows on to keep my attention for the 2 1/2 hours.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not scared. I am. I guess at this point I'm just trying really hard to take it easy. I was probably pushing myself too hard to get back into my regular routine. Patience....it's hard.

"...I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

While I was sitting in the waiting room this morning, there was a father with his six year old son who must have been having some problems with his left eye. He was trying to play in the waiting room but he was having to use his hang to cover up his eye in order to see what he was doing. After some frustration at his inabilities, he went over to his daddy, climbed up onto his lap and curled up into a ball before falling asleep. As I watched this boy seek out the comfort of his father, I was reminded that my heavenly Father is doing the same for me right now. So today I'm climbing back into his arms -- a place where I can find rest as I set aside the schedule I wish I could keep, comfort from all the "what ifs" of going through all this again and healing that only the Great Physician can provide.

Thank you for all your prayers. I couldn't make it through this without them. This time has been especially hard since I had hoped to be further along at this point.

Part 1 of what has been happening with me since my last post.

Some of you have heard through the grapevine that I've been sick and other may have not but I wanted to give you all an update on what has been going on with me. All of this has happened in the last 4 days so I apologize that I haven't been able to followup with everyone personally.

A couple days ago, I started to lose sight in my right eye and went to visit my eye doctor who refered me to an ophthalmologist who wanted to run an MRI to make sure that there wasn't something wrong with my nerves or my brain. You can imagine how scared I felt when he started talking about my brain. Anyway, I had an MRI today and below I have attached an email that my father sent out that explains all the results.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. Surprisingly, I'm doing quite well and am still able to find the humor in some of this. Last night I was meditating on the verse below and the translation I was meditating on said "and He will make your paths straight". The first thought that went through my head was "Thank goodness he is making this path straight because without my right eye I'd be running into walls otherwise." But seriously, I'm being challenged to trust Him in huge ways and I've been amazed at how He has been faithful to me.

Thanks again for your continued prayers and that I can get through the next 10 days smoothly and maybe gain a few muscles along the way :-)
(6/25/08)

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Sorry that it's been a little while since I've sent out an update but a little later is better than never, right? This past weekend, I finished my last dose of Solu Medrol and I've begun to see some improvement already. Although I will miss having access to cable TV at the hospital, it is nice to not have to make that trip every day. With each day, I have seen slight improvements in my right eye. For the last couple of days, I have been seeing shadows in the lower portion of my right eye. I'm thrilled that my vision is coming back so quickly but I didn't expect it to be as tough as it has been. With my vision only partially back, most things on my right side of very blury and my right eye is trying very hard to focus which has been causing me quite a few headaches. Hopefully these headaches will lessen as my vision improves but please continue to pray that I would remain patient during this process.

Today is my second day on Prednisone and I have been feeling pretty good. I'm so thankful that I haven't had many of the side effects (knock on wood) which has made this time much easier. Please continue to pray that I won't have many side effects from the drugs (increased appetite, mood changes and trouble sleeping) so that I will be able to get back into the normal routine of life. Although I'm still not driving yet, I've had many friends as well as my mom help me out in many ways. I'm so humbled by this process and have been amazed -- this is how the body of Christ was designed to function. God is so good!

It's so crazy to me to think that only a week ago this journey was just beginning. And now I sit here at my desk full of gratitude for the things that I've been given and even the things that have been taken away. With the loss of my sight, God has opened my eyes to a new understand of how He provides for me at just the right moments and in just the right ways. He has shown me areas where I wasn't giving Him everything and has allowed me to lean more heavily on Him in the process of letting those things go. I'm eager to see again and what a glorious day that will be! But in the meantime, God is being very faithful.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and emails. They have been very encouraging to me and my entire family.
(6/30/08)