11.29.2007

simplicity of faith

I need to hear things in simple terms especially when it comes to my faith. When reading through the Bible, I often get overwhelmed with the number of lessons that I can take from one particular passage. How am I supposed to keep up with all the values I need to learn while still avoiding all the temptations I face? How did Jesus keep everything straight? His answer is simple - He is God. But I fall so far short that it causes me to get frustrated and stop dead in my tracks.

I was sharing this with a lady that I've been meeting with lately and she mentioned this while we were talking about spending daily times with God - "Don't feel like you have to get everything you can from every passage. I'm planning on reading the Bible for the rest of my life and when I finish, I'll start again. The next time I read it, I'll learn more things. Let God impress upon your heart what He needs you to know now. He'll show you those other things when you're ready." Ahhhh! I can't tell you how freeing that was for me.

So when I'm trying to read the Bible each day, I don't feel so overwhelmed. I can read and trust that God is revealing what I need to know now. Wonderful. This makes me want to read even more.

11.25.2007

incoherent thoughts

There are many reasons why I haven't been blogging lately but the main reason is because I've been overwhelmed mentally and coming up with a coherent post was completely out of my mental ability. There have been many ideas going around in my head but nothing that seemed to come together completely. Here are a few things I've been thinking through:

~~do I have any authority to be blogging? what is it that keeps someone coming back to read my blog? does it really encourage/challenge anyone or am I just shouting into the dark nothingness of the world wide web?

~~If the original point of putting my thoughts out there was to keep people updated about my journey toward missions, what happens if I feel like God is calling me to stay right now? (All the events that brought me to this question are so lengthy and I haven't had the time to type them all out.)

~~what do I make of the pains of this world? It's not that I've been going through anything super hard but seen people around me hurting. I'm tired of the darkness, pain and grief around me. I want Jesus to come back and take us home.

~~if I've been walking this christian life for 18 years, why is it so hard to spend time reading the Bible? And when I do, why am I so uncomfortable there? I'm working through this one but I'm not sure how to share it here.

~~balance. I want to learn how to balance. I've changed my job again and I'm much happier now but the problem has become that I don't want to stop working. Resting has become more of an issue that it's ever been before. And traveling so much this last month hasn't helped.

So these are things that you might see blogs about soon but then again you may not. Is there a theme to my life right now? Can I put a name to this season that I find myself in? That's a good question and I'm not sure I can answer it very well other than saying that I'm learning. I'm learning that I need family, that I'm not an extreme extrovert anymore, and that the changes that are taking place aren't always leading me in the most obvious direction.

11.17.2007

In the last 11 days....

I have spent 5 days and 4 nights in St Louis, 3 days and 2 nights in Las Vegas, 4 days and 3 nights (so far) in Atlanta. I lost $4 in a slot machine in an airport. I've been on 10 United Airline flights totaling 4,684 miles. I've stayed in the MGM Grand room 9-202, the Hilton at the Ballpark room 2303 and the Westin Peachtree Plaza room 4112. I've packed my suitcase three times and done 4 loads of laundry. BUT in the next week, I have 6 more flights totaling 2,617 miles, two more nights in the Westin Peachtree Plaza hotel room 4112, 4 days and 3 nights in Phoenix, AZ and probably 2 more loads of laundry. Sadly, for the entire month of Nov, I will have spent 12 days and 16 nights in own bed and 8 days in the office.

I'm tired physically and at some points mentally but once Wed comes I will be with family. I'm thankful for a break from this lifestyle and even more thankful for the people I will get to spend it with.

Thank you to all my friends for enduring this crazy month of my life with me and for the entertaining text messages that I get like "Which state are you in now?" Love you all!

11.06.2007

GQ (short for "Great Quote")

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." C.S. Lewis

11.05.2007

more thoughts on change

When the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change, you change.
~Pastor Sal Sberna - Metropolitan Baptist Church, Houston,TX
The year 2006 was a hard year and last year at this time I was wondering when it would be over. I did infact endure the final two months of the year but it was painful. But when I look back, I am glad that I went through those painful seasons because of two things - they forced me to change because staying was so uncomfortable and they made me grateful for where I am today. I know it's not quite the end of the year and I haven't accomplished all my goals for 2007 (yet) but I would never have guessed a year ago that I would be where I am today. Now some of you may be wondering what I'm talking about - has her job changed? is she moving soon? No and no. Not much has changed other than my walk with God. He has become my friend and my comforter. His words are refreshing to me and His plan for my life has played out beautifully so far. I can't wait to look back on this year.