10.12.2009

Delighting in God

"Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

In Wiktionary, delight is defined as joy or pleasure. In Wikipedia, delight is said to mean "happiness and may refer to someone or something that brings such a state, such as good-tasting food."

As I looked up other verses in efforts to learn what delighting myself in the LORD might look like.

Nehemiah 1:11-"desire to fear Your name"(NKJ), "who delight to revere Your name"(NRSV, NASB)
Psalm 1:1-3-"his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law he meditates day and night."
Psalm 111:2-"The works of the Lord are great, studied by all who have pleasure in them."
Jeremiah 15:16-"Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart."

His law is on the hearts of and studied by those who delight in the Lord and then becomes the joy and rejoicing of their hearts. So then I must ask the question: Does this describe me?

I really do want to delight solely in the Lord but often I find myself delighting in His many blessings than in the giver of those blessings. I guess He does give us those blessings for us to enjoy but isn't the enjoyment of those blessings greater when you're delighting in the Giver more than the blessing.

Guess this leads to the second part of that verse - "and He will give you the desires of Your heart." Many people manipulate this verse to justify asking for just about anything and thinking God will give it to us. I can say for myself that I've done this before but have come to the conclusion that the desires of my heart can't be trusted. It could be partly because I'm a girl and we all know that girls change their minds often. (we know its true)

I wonder what God thinks sometimes when we ask for things. I'm sure He has laughed at my requests many times and said "Erin, that's not really what you want." Its usually at these points when I get frustrated that God hasn't "answered" my prayer when really what's happened is that He knows that my true desires weren't spoken and He uses time to refine them.

I love this prayer by Charles Spurgeon taken from The Power of a Believers Prayer:
Lord, if what I ask for does not please You, neither would it please me. My desired are put into Your hands to be corrected. Strike the pen through every petition that I offer that is not right. And put in whatever I have omitted, even though I might not have desired it had I considered it...'Not as I will, but as Thou wilt.'"
Lord, I want to delight You in the things that I pray for. Help me to see where my desires must die in order for Your will to be done. Just as Spurgeon prayed - my desires are put into Your hands to be corrected. You are the loving, merciful Father that I need so desperately and I'm so thankful for your gentleness in reshaping the deep desires of my heart. Place this new heart of yours in me and make it beat forever for you!

10.05.2009

"Daughter, be of good cheer. Your faith has made you well."

A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with MS and found myself at the lowest point in my life. The months following my diagnosis were like a roller coaster of fear, sadness, hopelessness and anger. I wonder if these feelings were anywhere close to what the woman in Mark 5: 25-34 was feeling the day that Jesus passed by. For months, I had been questioning God about why I had lost my eyesight and been meeting with many physicians who couldn't answer that question either. I was frustrated but I hadn't been sick for 12 years like this woman. So when Jesus was passing by, she did the only thing left to do - she reached out and touched the garment of Jesus. I wonder if she had one of those moments where time seemed to move in slow motion. I can imagine that she watched her arm reach out so slowly that maybe she thought she wouldn't make it. Maybe she strained to grab on to just the hem of his garment hoping with everything she had left that this would be the last time she'd have to attempt to be healed. And when she finally touched His clothes, she must have been in awe that it was The Healer who had made her well.(Luke 8:43-44)

In all the chaos of the crowd, Jesus said, "Who touched me?" I probably would have acted just as she did as she tried to hide herself in fear that He might be angry. Oh but wouldn't you just want to shout out for joy that you had finally been healed. No one in the crowd that day besides Jesus and this woman could fully understand what had just taken place. She must have been overcome with joy. I felt only a fraction of this when gazed into the sky last 4th of July and reveled in His goodness - He had reached out to me and healed my body.

It was her faith, Jesus said, that made her well. (Luke 8:48; Mark 8:34) She sought out Jesus in faith. In my case, Jesus sought me out in faithfulness and mercy. During those dark days, I knew in head that I should turn to God but I didn't know how I could with all the fear and confusion I was feeling. I wonder if the woman would have reached out to Jesus right when she got sick (if He had been been passing by). Or did God use those 12 years in her life to bring her to a point where she was long past any efforts she could muster?

I'm blessed. God gave me sight back after only a few days and He has surrounded me with friends and family who intercede for me when I can't. He has provided medicine to keep me from having to experience any relapses for over a year! Praise be to God!

Lord, give me faith to reach out to You when I feel hopeless and fearful. I want to have faith like this woman who will squeeze through a moving crowd at the chance to touch just the hem of your garment. You are so good. It's for Your glory that I share my story.