10.05.2009

"Daughter, be of good cheer. Your faith has made you well."

A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with MS and found myself at the lowest point in my life. The months following my diagnosis were like a roller coaster of fear, sadness, hopelessness and anger. I wonder if these feelings were anywhere close to what the woman in Mark 5: 25-34 was feeling the day that Jesus passed by. For months, I had been questioning God about why I had lost my eyesight and been meeting with many physicians who couldn't answer that question either. I was frustrated but I hadn't been sick for 12 years like this woman. So when Jesus was passing by, she did the only thing left to do - she reached out and touched the garment of Jesus. I wonder if she had one of those moments where time seemed to move in slow motion. I can imagine that she watched her arm reach out so slowly that maybe she thought she wouldn't make it. Maybe she strained to grab on to just the hem of his garment hoping with everything she had left that this would be the last time she'd have to attempt to be healed. And when she finally touched His clothes, she must have been in awe that it was The Healer who had made her well.(Luke 8:43-44)

In all the chaos of the crowd, Jesus said, "Who touched me?" I probably would have acted just as she did as she tried to hide herself in fear that He might be angry. Oh but wouldn't you just want to shout out for joy that you had finally been healed. No one in the crowd that day besides Jesus and this woman could fully understand what had just taken place. She must have been overcome with joy. I felt only a fraction of this when gazed into the sky last 4th of July and reveled in His goodness - He had reached out to me and healed my body.

It was her faith, Jesus said, that made her well. (Luke 8:48; Mark 8:34) She sought out Jesus in faith. In my case, Jesus sought me out in faithfulness and mercy. During those dark days, I knew in head that I should turn to God but I didn't know how I could with all the fear and confusion I was feeling. I wonder if the woman would have reached out to Jesus right when she got sick (if He had been been passing by). Or did God use those 12 years in her life to bring her to a point where she was long past any efforts she could muster?

I'm blessed. God gave me sight back after only a few days and He has surrounded me with friends and family who intercede for me when I can't. He has provided medicine to keep me from having to experience any relapses for over a year! Praise be to God!

Lord, give me faith to reach out to You when I feel hopeless and fearful. I want to have faith like this woman who will squeeze through a moving crowd at the chance to touch just the hem of your garment. You are so good. It's for Your glory that I share my story.

1 comment:

katie said...

Erin, my dear you ARE like this woman. So strong! I love you!
Katie